My grandma sent me this and it is so funny and very TRUE!!
These really sum up Oklahoma ....love it or leave it we are who we are. This is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Oklahoma :
If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance andthey don't work there, you may live in Oklahoma
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,you may live in Oklahoma
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation withsomeone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Oklahoma
If 'vacation' mean`s going anywhere south of Dallas forthe weekend, you may live in Oklahoma
If you measure distance in hours, you may live inOklahoma
If you say Fixin to, a walla go and ya'll because you heardit from the teacher in school you may live in Oklahoma .
If you know several people who have hit a deer morethan once, you may live in Oklahoma
If you install security lights on your house and garage,but leave both unlocked, you may live in Oklahoma
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wifeknows how to use them, you may live in Oklahoma
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you'regoing 80 and everybody is passing you, you may livein Oklahoma
If you find 60 degrees 'a little chilly,' you may livein Oklahoma
If you see a tornado warning on the television but don't get too awfully excited about it until you actually SEE it coming toward you, you may live in Oklahoma
If you actually understand these jokes and forwardthem to all your Okie friends & others, you definitely livein Oklahoma We're friendly folks!
Rules of Oklahoma :
1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot.The bill on your cap is to keep the sun off of your facenot the back of your head and neck.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'gravelroad.'I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter howslow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus.Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are cattle. That's what they smell like to you.They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it?I-40 goes east and west, & I-35 goes north and south.Pick one.
4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed.We have $250,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeksa year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's calledbeing friendly. Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks arecoming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You betterhope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really wantsushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season.It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the firstof November.
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to ALLwomen, regardless of age..
10. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu.Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pickoff the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes:meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt,pepper, and Picante Sauce!! Oh, yeah . . We don't carewhat folks in Cincinnati call that stuff they eat . . .IT AIN'TREAL CHILI!! Chili was born. and bred in the West . . andreal chili never met a tomato!
12. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown,wet, and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into myhouse, she'd better be cute, know how to shoot, drivea truck, and have long hair.
13. College and high school football & basketballis important here and fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit thewater hazards -- it spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? Try Oklahoma State University . They come outtathere with an education plus a love for God and country, and they stillwave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.
16. We have lots of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force,and Marines, so 'Don't Mess with Oklahoma ' If you do,you will get whipped by the best.
Oklahoma is the Greatest State EVER!If you do not repost this, you are not a true Okie. orYou Have No Friends that are True Okies... If you are or Do, Humor Them!!!!!
This is Austin from June, 2004 at Texas Childrens Hospital right before one of his many surgeries. I don't remember which one this was exactly. (editing: I remember now it was tonsils and a three day stay with another baby (Mattie) too because my husband had to go to the 50th wedding anniversary party of his parents in Ohio and took our then 4 year old Alison - it was awful - no wonder I wanted to forget)
