Bribing in my Head

I think I have hit an all-time low... I am now bribing myself in my head to do my school work. I can't believe I am about to admit this in public. It goes something like this:

me: get schoolwork caught up and then you will feel really really good and relaxed
head: um, maybe if I do just one test today and another tomorrow (procrastination at its finest)
me: well okay I have read all emails, looked at everyone else's blog (included a bunch of people I don't know), cleaned house, got the kids out, stacked the textbooks next to the computer to look official, swatted at the mosquito, and many other senseless thing maybe I should try to take on test and if I do I can then reward myself with two eggs for breakfast.
head: okay, good deal
me: typing this instead

This scenario goes on for hours in my head. If I take two tests maybe I have time to watch a movie before I tackle the research paper or the 3 weeks of statistics homework and the other 3 tests that need taken. YEAH RIGHT! I have no time for a movie or anything else for that matter just causing myself more stress. Okay, shutting up now, taking 1 test so I can eat then we will see what happens that I can barter with myself next.

Doubting this made sense to anyone but me and yes I am one step short of the looney bin. Actually, (as I ramble longer) I might enjoy a looney bin stay, peaceful, quiet, sleep, good drugs, watching other people who are crazier than me...yep sounds like a deal.